Endure Suffering

18 Nov

If there’s one thing I’ve learned being a believer in Jesus it’s the concept of endurance. We all have seasons of suffering, and I think we can all agree, it can seem really confusing in light of all the promises God makes to take care of us, to prosper us, to help us in our time of need.

We look at our circumstances and think, “Where are you now God?”

My life has been riddled with pain ever since I was a child. My biological father walked away when I was just eleven months old, and was soon after replaced with a man my aunt introduced to my mother. She was just trying to help but he turned out to be an even worse candidate.

It’s been a cycle of sorrow ever since.

In the early years it hardened me to spiritual things, I wanted nothing to do with God. I rebelled to the very best of my abilities and to be quite honest, am still paying the price in many respects for the choices I made.

Suffering has a way of shoving us out into the cold hard world of rebellion, however eventually you realize you need something outside of yourself to do this life thing right; you come to the awful realization that you’re morally bankrupt. Many just go deeper in sin to varying degrees, we shut out the light, but most of us want to be better parents, better employees, better citizens, so we turn to religion.

For me it started when I turned eighteen.

After mom finally got her own apartment, we had a pastor move in next door. He used to take me to lunch at least once a week just to hang out and listen to what was on my mind. There was no hidden agenda, he just cared about me and wanted me to feel accepted by his Boss. It had a lasting effect, I gave my life to Christ a couple of years later. Something changed, inside of me. I threw away all my music and began listening to various bible teachers on the radio, I enjoyed Christian music, I felt comfortable going to church, it was a radical transformation. But it didn’t take long to fall back into the same patterns. Over the years I’d spent so much time shaking my fists at God I’d developed a sort of resistance to righteousness. Heaven opened my eyes but this old world still had a hold on me, and my old friend pain was back.

After that I began doubting my salvation, thinking that God was up there somewhere with a club ready to clobber me instead of resting in the knowledge of His faithfulness. I still struggle at times, but now all these many years later I’ve come to realize it’s tactic of the enemy, and he’s really good at it. He wants us confused and hurting, it drives us away from a deeper prayer life, more meaningful Bible study.

If that’s is take heart. He hasn’t let go, He’s still fully engaged.

Hebrews 12:7 It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline?

Endure: upomenete — to stay behind, to await, endure


For the Kids

17 Nov

If you’re still in the contemplative phase of divorce, here are some tips from Psychologist and Author James Coleman from his book [IMPERFECT HARMONY]

*I will stop looking to my partner as a source of intimacy for now, and maybe forever more.

* I will grieve the loss of the marriage I thought I’d have, and stop bemoaning what I’m not getting from my partner.

*I will work hard to develop my life because that will be the best remedy for resisting my partner’s negative pull on me, or my destructive need of him or her.

* I will work to examine my counter-productive beliefs about marriage as being central to my happiness.

*I will work to keep the tone of my household calm and in control because that is what’s best for my children and me. While I don’t have control over my partner’s behavior, I have control over my own.

* I may have to accept that sex with my partner will be rare, non-existent, or less satisfying than I would like.

*I will give up my addiction to being right.

*I will stop hoping that my partner will change and will stop pushing him or her to change.

Regardless of whether or not you stay together, it’s not just about you anymore. You’re a parent, and that will never change.

Invest copious amounts of emotional capital in your children no matter what’s going on in that house. Just because you guys can’t get your act together doesn’t mean they don’t deserve your full and undivided attention. It’s not their fault.
They need us more than you may think.

Create memorable moments, one-on-one, with each of them. Look for things to praise them for, opportunities to talk and more importantly to listen.

They need a map, you’re it.

We used to go on family road trips for instance. There were favorite hotels and restaurants we’d frequent and certain spots we liked to stop, but we knew the back roads and what exits to take. Now that they’re older than can revisit those shared experiences, create their own memories.

Leave them a legacy not just a folded up list of dos and don’ts neatly tucked away in the corner of their mind.

Letting Go a pathway to freedom by Zack Dickerson


16 Nov

“Nancy woke up in a stupor with her hands and feet bound tightly, her heart thumping against cold, hard steel, the spray of pestled slush slapping the undercarriage, each bump slamming her cheekbone into the ribbed floorboard. She had a hunch, given her sinuous position and the pain in her left shoulder, the men most likely tossed her in like a sack of potatoes. The girls were both laying down next to her, noticeably diminished but unharmed.

Before long the van pulled over and the driver got out, faring someone he obviously knew. There was a thick smell of cedar in the air. She heard talking and muffled laughter towards the front and wondered what, if anything, they would find funny about their circumstances.

“Bastards,” she murmured to herself.

“It’s okay Mommy God’s with us,” the eldest whispered.

“I didn’t know you were up baby,” she replied smiling warmly, marveling at her daughters courage. Those kinds of survival skills are more, caught than taught. “You’re right I’m sorry everything’s going to be fine. He just has something for us to do that’s all, Daddy will figure it out.”

Being a military spouse, you get used to permanent change of station status. It’s a way of life. And although the girls had never tasted the insipidity of deployment, John had been working counter-terrorism for almost four years. Children of law enforcement personnel learn to embrace sacrifice earlier than most.

The voices were getting louder, two of the men started arguing. It didn’t take long for it to culminate into a fist fight, then a gunshot, and the sound of a crumpling corpse hitting frozen earth.

“Mama,” the little girl groaned.

“I know baby, shhh.”

Theft of America

15 Nov

I wrote this back in 2003.

“To many in America the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is no longer relevant. They believe we’ve grown past Him and are no longer in need of His counsel; fully persuaded that the way of the patriot is destined to fade into oblivion, clearing a path for a new kind of freedom . . . one of self-determination. But it’s these very principles that give us the liberty and privilege we enjoy to be a self-ruling society, to live uprightly in light of His system of law.

Are you one of them or do you still value our history and our God given freedoms?

Americans need wake up and recognize, we can no longer hold truth to be self-evident, we now need to prove it in court! What have we done? What are we handing down to our children? There’s a desperate need for robust debate but were being silenced through our own system of law.

It’s time to stop playing fancy man!

The United States is the model that the world follows, and our system is under attack by dictators and despots all over the globe who see a nation divided, spending billions in their own political pursuits to use America against itself as a catalyst for global change. The New World Constitution for instance, created by the United States of Europe, all other religions are tolerated except for Christianity and Judaism. Why? Because they’re seen as the chief impediments to a One World theology.

The efforts and rhetoric of the Liberal, and the pacifist (consummate diplomats) coincide perfectly with socialist philosophy. They are altogether ignorant of the true concept of Liberty. They represent approximately 27% of Americans (9-22-03) but that number is growing. They believe that conservatives are the problem, because we’re holding back this grand vision of an all encompassing doctrine that would bring the world together under a new Standard, unity at all cost, (the false ubiquity of the 60s all over again). They want to move on to a new era but to where?

They’ve got no true direction; idealists with no real ideas, tossed to and fro by the winds of public opinion. These are the same people that would vote Hillary Clinton for president, (40% Democrats).

We have to be more involved folks, to keep the integrity, and the true meaning and motive of our constitution unclouded. Many Americans think that a more concurrent solution is necessary. Contemporary schoolbooks with a more modern approach, so called Progressive leadership. Words such as, “inspired by God and His design for Liberty” are now to be considered, antiquated, pie in the sky, right wing, fanatical hate speech.

The agenda of homosexual activists, feminists, and all those in agreement with their political worldview and strategy, is to surreptitiously interpolate an altered set of ethics into American life that would make opposition to them impossible. They seek to silence patriots and our commitment to reason through the system of the court. Forcing those of us who adhere to traditional American thought to not only approve of them but to applaud them; step-by-step, dissolving our credibility in the public forum calling us bigoted, shortsighted or, “homophobic.” I’m all about freedom of choice but recently my patience hit its limit.

My 10 year old son brought a booklet home that he picked out of his school library about AIDS. Chapter one begins with a full page picture of a middle-schooler who’s just opened a condom packet. The chapter gives some very important information regarding the subject of AIDS but leaves room for explanations that are (vaguely) alluded to in the following chapters, that deal with feelings and the sincere hope for a cure.
However there are passages and pictures in this little booklet (Library of Social Activism Rosen Publishing Group 1995), that are clearly pro-homosexual in content.

The condom issue is one that particularly puzzles me. Where did they get the idea that condoms protect you from disease? The CDC wouldn’t agree with those assertions. Condoms don’t protect you from STDs, only from getting pregnant and even then, the possibility is still there.

They do briefly mention abstinence . . . the key word here is briefly. Nevertheless, not only do they promote condom use, passing them out to middle-schoolers and give explicit details on how to use them, they begin chapter three with a picture of a group of men from the GMHC (Gay Men’s Health Crisis) filling up bags and bags of condoms, further explaining what bisexuals are, what homosexuals are, the fact that they like to be called gay instead of homosexual, how that many teenagers experiment but that one or two encounters does not necessarily signify a sexual orientation and that most young people seldom adopt a homosexual lifestyle anyway.

Then they explain sexual transmission through vaginal intercourse, oral intercourse, and anal intercourse. Quote, “In anal intercourse a man inserts his penis into the rectum (anus) of a man or woman.” I could go on, but I am a little disgusted.

I decided to call the school and demand a response. The same day, the principle called me back to get the specifics which upon hearing them was aghast herself, stating that she wouldn’t even want these booklets in a high school, let alone a middle school! She asked me to put the book in a sealed manila envelope and to have my son bring it to her directly, that no matter what, even if she had to bring it to the boards attention, it would be addressed.

A few months went by and I asked a friend of mine, a member of the schoolboard himself to bring it to the attention of some of his colleagues. He formed a small committee to address it. They actually took it to the Superintendent, who after having reviewed the situation stated that there was nothing that he could do, that his hands were tied.

My children are doing pretty good at the school and I’m thankful for the opportunity for them to be there. We’re newcomers to the community and love it here, but while we are in the process of restructuring our schools, we can’t be complacent regarding this stuff, we’re losing ground.

There are those who are hell-bent on the social re-engineering of our society and they know it starts with our kids, particularly as it pertains to issues of morality and ethics. The goals that the feminist and homosexual to incorporate Leftist values into our public schools is being realized, chiefly driven by the ACLU (American Civil Liberty Union). If they had they’re way, digital child pornography would be legal, homosexual families would be considered normal, prostitution would be sanctioned, the list goes on & on.

Is that who we want making decisions regarding what is or isn’t allowed in our schools?

In California right now, they teach mandatory homosexual tolerance classes from k-12 with accompanying literature because the ACLU and the California 9th Circuit are in agreement on most of these issues, in league with each other many times . . . working hand in glove, making way for precedent in other states.

Thank God for people like Mrs. Barton who understood how to properly interpret things that are self evident without allowing a political bias to interfere with her job (Shortly after this article was written, they replaced her).”


14 Nov

Not long after however the, “all-overs” came to visit; his PTSD peeking it’s notoriously ugly head around the corner of his war-torn mind. “Not now, please not now.” Nancy used to help him through it. Usually all it took was the sound of her voice, that just wasn’t an option.

It took him back, way back. “Just what are you tryin’ to accomplish here sergeant dumbass? You don’t even know where the hell you are!”

He was beginning to unravel. His heart, sprinting at full gallop speed but he could hardly move . . . his mind, flooded with images of brutality, carnage and death—“God help me, get me outta here I can’t do this.”

Suddenly he heard her, as it were, calling out to him, “Keep going Johnny you’re wasting time!”. He marveled at the sound of it, but like a fresh coat of stain on old dry barn wood, he could feel a reinfusion of energy and strength soaking deep into his bones. “I’m comin’ baby, I’m comin’.”


Letting Go . . . a pathway to freedom

13 Nov

Family breakups are a scourge with dangerous consequences and very often unknown, far reaching effects. If you’re struggling with a recent divorce, you’re not alone.


Boundless Devotion

13 Nov

It’s finished! Download my new book, “Boundless Devotion” NO Charge! It’s a great read if I do say so myself. 😏

Loyalty, sacrifice, love against the odds, and the indomitability of the, American spirit. [BOUNDLESS DEVOTION

Intelligence agent John Matthias is being hunted down by a fringe faction of Russian Syndicate privateers out of Kazakhstan. He’d inadvertently stumbled into an unsettling conversation while calling CQ on his HAM radio, that would inevitably lead him and his entire family down a dusky road of death and debauchery.


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