How to Win Friends and Influence People – a Review

30 May


Appropriate ways to engage in meaningful dialog and make lasting friends

“Flattery will get you everywhere”, not true.

Flattery is self motivated. Somewhere inside your “words of encouragement” you want something. I used to think that’s what this book was about, far from it. In fact if I wasn’t involved with the Empower Network, I’d still think this book was nothing but a huge waste of time to be real.

I’ve never really had any interest in winning friends. The way I saw it, if you had to read a book on how to make friends, you needed to learn that specific skill, one that I haven’t had a problem with for a looong time.

In fact the more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that the reason I never had a problem doing it is because I never really tried, it just happened.

Making friends is the easy part, keeping them though, yeah, that can be challenging. I’ve got a few still hanging around, most have disappeared into the darkness of what’s left of my memory lol.

What is a friend?

There’s an old saying, “You can usually count your true friends on one hand”.

Okay, I get it. Not everybody who calls you their; but why is it that when some people die, they need police to direct traffic while others have no shows?

To “be” a friend means to build into someones life, to encourage and inspire them. That’s what people are drawn to. I’ve had a few people in my life like that that are gone now. When I look back, I remember how awesome they were. They challenged me in a way that helped me see the advantages of what they were trying to convey from my perspective. Sometimes it almost seemed like I was figuring it out on my own, they were so crafty.

Great leaders, awesome friends, are in the business of building people up, showing appreciation whenever possible and working hard at not criticizing. There’s a time to call people out, to show them the “error of their ways” especially if you really care about that person; but there’s a way to do it, there’s a science to admonishment.

If you knew somebody that you cared about was involved in some dangerous activity for instance, would you rush in and sting their schema or would you attempt to show them why what they were doing was dangerous and try to appeal to their intellect?

Like with kids, just telling them not to smoke because that’s what you want isn’t gonna help; but if you tell them, “Hey man, it’s gonna cause problems for you on the field, slow you down, maybe cause cancer or a heart attack”. It’s still up to them to decide however, you’ve given them the information they need to make an informed decision from their perspective. You’ve helped them to see the advantages and/or disadvantages of not lighting up.

That’s kind of what I’m practicing now.

This manuscript is more than just hype, it’s more than just some guy trying to sell a book. They put years and years of research into this, it’s got real, practical information for developing better communicative skills.

See for yourself.

Thanks for stopping in.

If you enjoyed today’s post about friends please like & share the page if you want more content like this.


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