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God is Faithful

13 Jan

I don’t know about you but I’ve always had a tendency to try and control the outcome of things in my life. I believed that as long as you put in enough effort at something you inevitably reap the rewards, like planting seed or even cooking the harvest. That has some truth to it but if you’re a believer the, “outcome” is more of and outgrowth, determined by your level of faith.

I’m not talking about how much faith you have, or some kinda name it claim it nonsense, I mean how you’re trusting God with the whole of your life; the substance of your faith.

Up until the last few years mine was pretty shallow. I trusted Him with my salvation, I read the Bible daily, prayed all the time, but I never learned how to let go of the shovel.

I’d compartmentalized everything. I had my marriage, my relationship with my kids, my job, my ministry, my friends, all neatly packed in boxes, everything checked off, safely put away.

All of those things are critically important, but they need to be part of each other; to mingle together. As humans, we just don’t have that capacity, it’s too much to carry at once. We need to put it all in God’s hands, that’s how He created us.

Proverbs 16:9 The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.

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God is Faithful

26 Dec

Just an update . . . that new job I started last week, what an opportunity! I had a gut feeling it was gonna work out, but talk about pressure. I was right up against the wall!

For the past few years I’ve been dealing with severe chronic pain. Due to the nature of my particular field of expertise, unbeknownst to me, I’d developed arthritis in my hip. I thought it was more of a muscular issue than a skeletal one. I figured that stuff didn’t happen until you were in your sixties.

Initially it was more of a dull ache than anything else, but one day it got to the point where I couldn’t work anymore, I could hardly walk without a cane.

I was cleaning up the yard at my place of employment when out of nowhere it felt like someone stabbed me in the leg. The pain was unbelievable! The next day I went in for x-rays and discovered the underlying problem.

It was devastating.

I was recently divorced, I had no insurance benefits and now that the issue was exposed it was a, “pre-existing condition.” I didn’t know what to do. I hadn’t even earned enough points to receive disability benefits, because for years I’d been trying to get various businesses off the ground so my wife could stay home (I’m an entrepreneur at heart). Over time I went through my savings just to survive, until I was flat broke.

Things looked bleak, that’s actually when I began writing Boundless Devotion.

I went to a pain clinic and got some relief but as it is with many of these kinds of situations, I became dependent on the medicine. I suppose that’s just a fancy way of saying addicted.

I was now trapped in a piercing enigma. It was all I could do just to trust God, read the Bible and hope for a positive outcome.

Eventually I was able to lay down the meds (thank God) and began a physical therapy regiment I’d found on YouTube of all places lol. Not long after a friend of mine offered me a partnership deal of sorts in his business (I mentioned it last week) but it just never worked itself out practically speaking.

Now finally, after almost three years, the Lord has shown Himself to be that friend that, “sticks closer than a brother.”

I was always a lover of God and souls. His word truly has been, “a lamp unto my feet” since the kids were little, but I’ve had my share of battles with the flesh and to be honest, was in need of some serious spiritual intervention. The problem is, my ego has a tendency to hold me captive at times.

I see all this as God’s discipline, He’s been using it to draw me closer to Himself. As a result of His faithfulness and His excellent craftsmanship I’m now entering a new phase in my life.

Oh, and the ex and I are talking again. 😉

I know a lot of you have been praying for me lately, thank you.

Psalm 51:6 Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. 7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. 8 Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice. 9 Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. 10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

“Boundless Devotion” is Gaining Traction

20 Dec

I’ve been thinking lately, Boundless Devotion is beginning to take off. In the past week I’ve gotten more likes on the Facebook page than I have since it’s release. I’m getting lots of great feedback too.

The plan was to create a sequel, but I’ve since changed things up.

When it comes to marketing I’ve always been a fan of the old adage, “Leave ’em wanting more.” I figured what better industry than writing books. But honestly I want my first title to be the best that it can be, so I’ve decided to bag the idea and just complete the series in one book.

When the update is available I’ll let you know.

The next project is probably gonna be set as a western. I’ve always been a fan, and I’ve got a lot of great ideas swirling around in my head.

I’ll keep you posted.

Thanks for all the support! 👊

Why Are You Cast Down, O My Soul?

17 Dec

Lately I’ve been facing some real challenges. I had something worked out with a friend of mine, we were gonna be partners in my given industry. However work has been sparse; hard to come by.

My mobility is limited nowadays so I don’t have a whole lot of options anymore. Going into business seemed to be the ticket, but it hasn’t been working out as planned so I’m looking at my options.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed with anxiety, it’s enough to keep you up at night.

I think about the future a lot and it scares me to be honest. I thought I’d be a lot farther than I am right now at my age. But when I think of the yet unfolding tragedies this past year with the hurricanes, the tremendous suffering people are experiencing all over the world, I’m reminded that I’m not doing too bad.

Then I read the scriptures and recall God’s faithfulness to me.

Lord help me to trust You, give me Your perspective, help me to see the world through Your eyes.

For Your glory..

I love the book of Psalms, it’s pregnant with meaning. It’s like going to prayer school.

Psalm 42:7 Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me. 8 By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life.

“Country”

13 Dec

A few years ago after my divorce, I bought a piece of property by a lake in Beech Grove, Tennessee. It was out there . . . almost what they call, “primitive.” It took almost an hour for me to get to work, but it was mine. The plan was to build a pile of money, we had a bunch of work coming, but somebody outbid my boss and we lost the account.

It was the middle of winter, and it was cold . . . in more ways than one. The peace and quiet was great, but I was alone out there, more alone than I’d ever been in my entire life. I learned a lot about myself during that time.

It was just an old shack I planned on fixing up. There wasn’t any power or running water and without income, I was in a constant state of desperation. I was trusting God but I remember countless times, crying out to Him, trying to understand why He’d put me there. It was a truly humbling experience.

Then one day an old dog showed up out of the blue, he had battle scars all over him. I shared my meal and he decided to stick around.

After a little while I had to put out the fire so he eventually followed me inside. You could tell he didn’t quite know how to function as a house dog, but he was grateful to come in out of the cold.

Work picked up a little but it was nothing to brag about. In between jobs I had to drive down the mountain just to get internet service, hoping maybe to land different employment or a day labor gig here and there. He had free reign but he’d always be there in the morning to send me off and be waiting for me when I got home.

I called him country.

The time came that I had to make a decision to tough it out or change plans; I was down to my last hundred and twenty-two dollars, and needed a throttle cable for my truck. I would have stayed but I had no choice, and I couldn’t take him with me.

I felt awful, we’d both already been abandoned, now I was doing it to him again. But he was familiar with grief so I figured he’d be alright.

Once I got situated I went back up there and stayed the weekend. I called out to him every once in a while hoping he’d come around, but I think he found his way into somebody else’s heart.

Thank God for dogs.

Uncommon Goodness

12 Dec

A buddy of mine just shared this story with me. It definitely gave me pause.

As believers we’re supposed to, “love others” and I do . . . generally. Unfortunately I turn into sort of a holy humbug around Christmas time. It’s been like that ever since my divorce.

Yesterday I wrote about the struggle I’ve been having for the past couple of years, in terms of giving to people standing on the street corners holding out those cardboard signs. I shared how I’d been scammed a time or two and was concerned, because I’d been developing a sort of calloused disregard for them.

That’s not a good plan.

Proverbs 31:8-9 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.

This time of year we’re reminded how important it is to be charitable. I want my heart to be soft towards the needy; pliable in the hands of God. You never know what’s going on behind the scenes.

Check this out..

Legacy of Tears

30 Nov

Looking around at all the foulness in the media lately, I was thinking of writing a book about the wickedness of the human heart. I even came up with a cool title for it, “Depth of Depravity.” However the more I pondered on the idea, I honestly wouldn’t know where to begin.

When I examine my own heart, it’s enough to scare anybody. I think that’s the case for most of us, but the dynamics have changed. Our eyes have adjusted to the darkness. We accept things as normal that should make us feel ashamed as a country; we’ve forgotten how to blush.

Overall Americans used to be on the same page in terms of morality. We enjoyed a, “community ethic.” where everybody knew the difference between right and wrong. Those days are over, which makes reading people a lot more challenging, and dangerous.

Nobody’s perfect, but ask those who know me and they’ll tell you, I’m one of the good guys. What about the other team?

If we’re truly honest with ourselves . . . goodness.

They used to say twenty or so years ago, that at any given moment there were at least a hundred serial killers walking around, living among us. I wonder what those numbers would look like today?

I’ve made many poor choices in my life, decisions that still affect me in many respects all these years later. Growing up in the chaos I was forced to call, “home” certainly didn’t help (long story). Nevertheless I took ownership of those choices, a skill sorely lacking in American culture. As a result I enjoy my freedom, I have a good relationship with my children, I’m relatively healthy, I have a roof over my head . . . there are consequences for good behavior as well as bad.

But my God what are we handing down to these kids?!

Braille — Changed Hearts

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