Tag Archives: Relationships

You Are Powerful My Friend!

12 Jul

Uncap your potential there’s plenty to go around

There’s something I wanted to remind you of today, a conversation I’d like to have, designed specifically with you in mind.

Growing up was hard at my house.  Some of y’all have heard my story, there is something I never mentioned though.

The hardest part of the whole experience for me was the constant put downs I endured from my stepfather. It took me years to get over to be honest. It’s actually what drove me into the lifestyle I chose to live as a youth.

Sometimes we all need to get our britches dusted and learn lessons we’ll remember for a lifetime but put downs can leave deep scars you can’t see on the surface.

I rarely talked about how it made me feel because when I did people would just tell me to, “suck it up”. At the time that sounded good to me so that’s the route I took.

I buried those feelings deep down underneath a three inch crust of anger.

On the outside I could fool just about anybody. Of course most of the people I hung around with had similar issues so it was easier to blend in, but secretly I hated myself. He made me feel like there was something wrong with me.

I used to call him, “the master of headgames” and he was.

He would purposely look for opportunities to make me feel stupid. No matter what I did it was never enough. If I was mowing the lawn, tilling the garden, trimming the bushes, whatever . . . he’d be standing in the window watching. After I did the dishes he would inspect every pot and pan, every dish, every glass.

By the time I was sixteen I’d been kicked out of every school I’d ever attended, been in and out of lock up at least a half a dozen times and still had to ask permission to eat, to turn on the TV, to leave the table . . . I hated him.

It was a miserable life, so I chose another one. 

A constant runaway, I’d gotten pretty good at hiding my anger and insecurity, but my subconscious mind would eventually give me away. I was an emotional train wreck, a time bomb ready to explode on anybody who tried to help.

Mom left him several times. We’d stay with friends for a couple of weeks, sometimes a month but she always relented.

My mother was a good woman don’t get me wrong, she was just doing what she thought was right at the time. My real father walked out and never came back, she knew I needed a father figure.

The problem was she didn’t know most of what was going on behind the scenes when she wasn’t looking, I kept a lot of it to myself.

She eventually moved out for good, got an apartment and came to pick me up from Juvenile Hall for the last time. I still had some issues that needed to be dealt with but the nightmare had finally run its course, it was over.

It took a long time to truly come to grips with it all and grow out of some of the unhealthy behavior patterns I’d adopted and this journey won’t be over til it’s really overbut I’ve learned to be thankful for everything that’s happened in my life because it’s made me who I am.

Now, back to you.

If you’re dealing with anger and insecurity from traumatic experiences in your past I want you to listen up. You’re not fooling anybody, your subconscious mind translates your struggle to the outside world in ways you probably don’t realize. You may be really good at pretending to be happy and full of confidence, but that wreckage inside your schema can’t help but peek out once in a while and it’s affecting your future, in the present.

People can tell and they’re repelled by it. Nobody offers you a thing, your life is your responsibility. Look around at your friends, misery loves company. 

There’s good news though.

No matter what anybody has told you, YOU ARE Powerful. You have extraordinary, hidden, untapped potential whether you believe it or not.

Your brain is a fantastic organ. A multiplicity of molecular momentum. As an American, as long as you work at being grateful, you have within you, the basic raw elements for tremendous success (no matter who you are)!

“..it ain’t where yer from it’s where yer at”

I know what it’s like to feel dead inside, to give up the fight and to secretly hate yourself for it. I know how painful it can be trying to maintain but dying on the inside, secretly wishing you’d never been born, but you need to let this sink down deep.

Whatever direction you choose to aim for in this life, failure or success, if you keep moving . . . you’ll get there. The quickest way past an obstacle is to relentlessly beat on the same spot until you break through, kinda like a battering ram.

As long as you don’t give up you won’t fail.

I used to think of myself as an abject failure, like I could only get so far before the Universe would get in front of me. This is what I’ve learned since then.

1)Whatever level of success you’re looking for crystalize it in your mind, be clear and specific, be intentional.Write out where you wanna be in a year. Use lots of descriptive words. What’s your perfect day look like?

2)Learn all you can; but don’t wait until you’ve got it all figured out before you start taking action. Getting ready to get ready to get ready goes nowhere.

3)Roll your sleeves up and start serving, get yourself and others around successful people that have made it, help them both get what they want.

4)Keep a good attitude, be positive about the future outcome of your efforts, be thankful for everything, good and bad.

5)Be focused, be relentless, be driven! Nobody that’s had any level of success in their life was a quitter. You’re gonna screw up, make mistakes, fail and flounder . . . it’s okay. Success is a journey not a destination, you don’t have to do everything perfectly (a lesson I learned the hard way).

Don’t pay attention to the negative voices in your head, it’s nothing but useless chatter bouncing around in your subconscious mind.Tell that thing to lay down!

Bottom line?

There’s no secret formula to getting what you want out of life except that it takes effort on our part and somebody to come along side of us and point us in the right direction.

Make plans, set goals, go on ahead and dream, just don’t stop there . . . start heading in a specific direction and keep moving! Become unstoppable in your pursuit and you increase your chances of success with every step you take.

When you hit an obstacle use the negative energy to your advantage.You may have to reformulate your plans, but the momentum you create will be like a built in GPS coordinator in your brain, and it’ll carry you through whatever change needs to happen if you just refuse to give up the fight.

That’s how it’s done.

If you need any help, counsel, advice or you just wanna talk, don’t be afraid to hit me up.

615-439-8329

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